We don't have lager louts here in Dorset, we have something far, far worse - Lycra Louts... 
If you don't know Dorset it has no motorways whatsoever and very few dual carriageways. Most of our roads are narrow twisting lanes and around here many of them are single track with passing places. That's what makes Lycra Louts so evil!
We get hordes of cyclists wearing their seemingly compulsory uniform of skin-tight lycra, ipods, sunglasses and multi-coloured helmets; choking the lanes in huge groups and blocking pavements with impenetrable barricades of cast-off bicycles outside every tearoom and village pub.
To get stuck behind a group of Lycra Louts is a nightmare experience - incidentally what is the collective noun for a bunch of cyclists? A chain of cyclists, a frustration of cyclists, a horde of cyclists ???
If you get stuck behind a horde pedalling along at 5mph it doesn't matter what the speed limit of the road is, they aren't going to give way to you and let you overtake. Instead they amble along at little more than walking pace throwing sweet wrappers, empty drinks containers, sandwich wrappers, etc in a constant stream onto our pristine verges.
The beautiful countryside which is their reason for coming to Dorset gets destroyed by their passing - I followed a bunch the other day and saw one of them throw a half-eaten pasty, still in it's cellophane wrapper over a hedge into a field of cattle !!! I stopped and recovered it to prevent yet another stock death caused by discarded litter.
Luckily after a couple of miles I was able to get past this group of louts by detouring through another village to get back onto the road they were blocking. I had a lunch appointment in a pub just down the road and was quite pleased when a few minutes after I arrived these same Lycra Louts turned up at the pub and trooped inside.
After giving them a full and detailed explanation of how rude and anti-social they were, and the possible consequences of their careless littering, both I and the pub landlord got a round of applause from the rest of the people in the pub - me for my diatribe and the landlord for refusing to serve them and throwing them out...
He may have lost money by refusing to serve them but he gained a popular following from the rest of the people in the pub
